Complete Failure
by theotherweasley
Summary: What if Alice never saw Bella jump, and Edward never came back? Would he get his wish for Bella to have a normal, happy life?
1. Chapter 1

**Complete Failure**

_BPOV_

"Jacob?" I asked, stretching my arms over my head. I rubbed my eyes and looked over to see him lying on the other side of the couch, still sleeping. I smiled and reached for the blanket that had somehow ended up covering him. Like _he _needed the extra warmth. Wrapping the blanket around my shoulders, I realized that I was still wearing his over-sized sweater. My clothes were in the dryer, rain soaked from what was supposed a sunny walk on the beach.

Hearing me get up, Jake opened his eyes. "Morning" he mumbled, smiling; I couldn't help but smile back, "Want me to make us some breakfast?" he asked, and I shook my head quickly. I had a flashback of Jake trying to make bacon, and burning it all to a crisp. "I got it." I assured him, getting up to make us some eggs.

I had barely turned on the stove when Jacob came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He tilted his head to rest his cheek on top of my head. I sighed deeply and smiled. "How hungry are you? Are we thinking only six or seven eggs today?" I teased him. It never ceased to amaze me just how much Jake could eat. I turned around in his arms to face him.

"I don't know, I guess it depends, what's for dessert?" He asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively, knowing it would make me blush. He leaned and kissed me on my nose, then both cheeks, then my mouth. He tried to deepen the kiss, when the fire alarm went off.

"Oh my god!" I jumped back, completely surprised, and burned my arm on the hot stove. "OW!" I screamed, rubbing my arm while Jacob turned off the stove and grabbed a cold wet cloth to put over my burned elbow. Then he got one of his auto magazines and waved it below the fire alarm until the blaring noise stopped. I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh at the pandemonium I had just caused in the kitchen. I made a mental note not to let my crippling clumsiness ruin anything else today. He picked me up, as though I weighed nothing at all, and set me back down on the couch, still nursing my sore elbow. "Bella, Bella, Bella…"

"Hey! Don't you Bella Bella Bella me! I will not be patronized!" I protested half-mockingly. He couldn't hold back his laughter after that. His laughter was infectious, and soon we were both doubled over, wiping our eyes.

"So, what's the plan for today?" Jake asked

"Well, I was thinking we could go for a motorcycle ride around La Push?" I asked, knowing he would no after what had happened with Charlie. I opened my eyes wide, innocently, and looked up at him biting my lip; he didn't stand a chance. He quickly covered his eyes and looked away. "Not gonna work this time, Bella." He said, smiling.

_That's what you think. _I got up and sat in Jacob's lap, one hand on each of his shoulders. I leaned my face in toward his until our noses were touching. "Please?" I asked again.

"Are you _trying_ to kill me? Ugh, fine, let's go. But you're wearing a helmet!" He called to me as I raced toward the door.

"Bella?" he called again from behind me.

"Yep?" I turned around, my feet getting caught up in the carpet. Even Jake wasn't fast enough to catch me as I hit the ground with a thud. "Ok, that hurt." I said, which set him off again. He came over to help me up, but was shaking from laughing so hard. Turns out my plan of avoiding any further incidents was a complete and total failure.


	2. Chapter 2

**Complete Failure**

A/N: Ok, what do you guys think? Is this story better as just a oneshot, or do you think I should continue it? review and let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey! Ok, so I've decided to make this into a two-shot. (Sorry it took so long, but I'm infamously indecisive) Thanks so much for reviewing part one, and just to clear things up, the story takes place late in the summer after Bella's senior year, and she and Jacob aren't married._

**All I Want**

_(JPOV)_

"Hey, Em? You got anymore of these cupcakes left?"

"Come on, Paul, you just had like, twelve." I laughed, and he shot me a look that I'm sure was intended to make me shut up, but instead made me laugh harder. Bella, on the other hand, was still a little scared of Paul, and slid over closer to me.

"Here, have mine." Bella said, holding it out in front of her. I quickly grabbed it from her and put it back on her plate.

"No, Paul. You are not taking the girls cupcake." I told him sternly, talking to him as I would a small child. He just scowled and got up from the table.

"So, what do you feel like doing today, Bells?"

Bella just shrugged. "Don't you want to stay for the rest of the party?" she asked. Today was Torien's- Sam and Emily's son- first birthday. Needless to say, after two hours of partying it up with a one-year-old, you get a little bored.

"I don't think anyone will miss us if we sneak out now." I told her. And it was true, Quil was too busy playing with Claire to notice if a meteor suddenly struck the house, and Sam and Emily were doting over Torien, who couldn't care less what gifts he got, and probably doesn't even know what a birthday is anyway.

"That's probably true" she laughed, and we slowly and quietly made our way toward the door.

When we finally made it to the truck, I opened the door for her and hoped in the driver's side. The truck made an awful screeching noise before the engine roared to life.

"Ok, well, if the hadn't already realized we're gone, I think that was a dead give away" Bella laughed. "And why do you get to drive?" she asked indignantly.

"I think the more important question is why are you still driving this thing at all?" If the truck was bad when she got it, it had only gotten worse. "It's especially bad at quick getaways."

"So, where exactly are we going?"

"I'm not sure, how about the beach?" Even on really sunny days when the water was warm, I could never convince Bella to actually go for a swim, but we both loved to sit on the beach, watch the water, and just talk. Quil and Embry always joke that she's turned me into a complete sap.

We arrived at First Beach around noon. Bella was wading around in the water only up to her ankles, with her jeans rolled up and a huge smile on her face.

The smile suddenly fell off her face as she turned to see me staring at her. I tried my best attempt at a menacing smile, and started to walk toward her.

"Jacob?" She asked worriedly "What are you doing? Jake!" I abruptly picked her up and threw her my shoulder. I started walking deeper into the water, ready to throw her in.

"No! Jake, please don't"! She cried, hitting my back, but laughing. I made it a few more feet before the begging started. "Please? I'll be your slave for life thing again! Come on Jake! You can have anything you want!" I stopped, and fell to the side, plunging us both into the water.

We both came up gasping for air, and even though Bella was shivering, she was still laughing.

"What was that for?" She asked half angrily. I pulled her up out of the water and kissed her.

"I already have everything I want"


End file.
